Lean Mean Military Machine

In the news earlier this week, President Obama announced that he plans to curb the U.S. military spending by between 48 billion to 100 billion USD a year.  That is as much as 1 trillion USD in savings over the next decade and even then, President Obama mentioned in his speech that the “defense budget continues to be larger than roughly the next 10 countries combined.”  Wow! One trillion!  Why that’s probably more than the amount of nuts that I can eat in several lifetimes!  (Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/01/05/white-house-to-announce-new-defense-strategy-that-cuts-billions-from-military/#ixzz1jD0zm7cJ)

Now some are criticizing the plan as they claim it would make the U.S. weak and make the world a more dangerous place.  But as President Obama also noted, America has been involved in two very  costly wars in the last decade and one has to wonder if that has really made this world less of a dangerous place.  As a free-hippie, make-love-not-war, give-peace-a-chance liberal,  live-and-let-live, free-spirited and Christian squirrel, I support President Obama’s strategy.  Security can still be achieved by being flexible and smart.  Sometimes the costly military toys just don’t help but investing in higher trained and motivated personnel does.  Osama was in the end not defeated by tanks and stealth bombers or smart missiles but by good intelligence gathering and the skills and bravery of an elite team of soldiers.

Still, one has to wonder how the new trim and slim U.S. military might look like.  The Lone Grey Squirrel being a military genius have come up with a couple of cost saving ideas.

Easy Maintenance Vehicles and the Troops Get Fit Too!

Environment Friendly Transport That Does Not Depend on Fossil Fuel (Eats Anything Anywhere - Reducing the Need for Logistical Support)

New Generation Stealth Fighters that Really Fly Below the Radar!

Kat and the Kamama Wonderland

I started blogging in October 2006.  My goodness, has it been that long?  The reason I started was that I had a friend who wanted to start up a blog but procrastinated for months and so I challenged him to a race to see who could get a blog up and running first.  I won.  He lost and later lost interest.  I, however was hooked; especially by the wonderful new friends I was making.  Now over the years, some of my good blogging friends have faded, pulled away by the demands of real life and one has even gone to a better place.  I miss them all.  But there are a few friends that I have had since I took those early blogging footsteps and whom I am still in happy contact today.

As early as December 2006, I stumbled upon Kat and her blog “Stay at Home Kat“.  I had been looking to read a blog of someone with an interest in nature and natural history.  Kat can best be described as a fan, follower and practitioner of science and a friend of all living things.  She reigns over a charmed piece of  woodlands near Atlanta, Georgia which she has called the wonderful kingdom of Kamama. She is my Renaissance woman poster girl.  Her posts feature and showcase her love for nature.  She is interested and knowledgeable in astronomy,bird watching,  falconery, insects, pandas, reptiles, amphibians…..etc.  Did I mention snakes?  She was for many years a volunteer at the Atlanta Zoo for the Birds of Prey Show and is currently a member and supporter of the Georgia Aquarium.  She’s also from the Food and Hospitality industry.  Yum.

Kat has a particular passion for butterflies and plants milkweed so as to make Kamama an officially recognized way-station for Monarch Butterflies as they fly north from their wintering grounds.  Occasionally, she even acts as a foster parent and protect insect cocoons until they hatch.  Kat shares Kamama with two ginger cats and a dog, Taylor and many of her posts will deal with their antics and their interaction with other animal denizens of the kingdom.

During one of our earliest exchanges, Kat posted a mystery about how there was an abundance and predomination of fallen oak leaves near one side of her house when the nearest oak tree was a great distance away and immediately round her house were maple trees.  She was making scientific postulations about the movement of air currents and rainfall patterns to explain the phenomena.  I replied saying that as a scientist, I believed that the simplest explanation was that she had pixies in her garden.  For a long while after, she doubted that I was a real scientist.  I think finally she decided that I was a jester dressed in a lab coat pretending to be a scientist .

We had our friendly disagreements over discussions on evolution.  We also both went through a bad spell together when we each had to fight off the bears in our back yards (kind of an insider joke, you’d have to read a lot of old posts to get to the bottom of that one).  Anyway, our friendship has continued to grow and strengthen.  Who would have thought it possible for a Kat and a squirrel?!?

In another meeting of fates, both of us made important life-changing decisions last year.  Although happy with the decision, Kat has been adjusting to a new way of life and lately has felt a little down and lonely.  So I would ask if you could  drop in on Kat, Taylor and the ginger cats and the whole menagerie at Kamama and say a warm “Hello”.  Visit for awhile and enrich your mind.  Kat may even teach you how to “samba”.  To visit just click here.

Rare Gynandromorph Diana (raised and photographed by Kat)

Pixies, Kat and Dog,

All live in Kamama on the edge of town
A Monarch wayside stop
A sanctuary for animals  from all around
On this here Kamama ground

(By LGS; Sung to the tune of “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves)

The New Zodiac

WARNING! THIS WILL BE A VERY LONG POST.

It all started when this squirrel watched a program about Jaime Oliver.  Mr. Oliver is a famous chef  from UK and he carried out a successful campaign in UK to reform British school meals to make them more healthy.  He was alarmed that they were being served high fat, high sugar junk food.   Following from that success, he is now in the USA,  trying to win over students, school administrators, school cooks and parents to more healthy and nutritious food.  However, the situation in the USA was even worse than in the UK.  For example, in the elementary school he was at, the children did not know that there was such a thing as fresh milk.  They had grown up on chocolate or strawberry flavored milk and had never drank plain fresh milk.

As an experiment, Jaime brought some fruits and vegetables into a class and asked the kids to identify them and the kids failed to identify any of the fresh produce.  When shown tomatoes, one brave girl offered “cherries” as an answer.  But they failed to recognise limes, potatoes, pears,  beets, etc.  They did however recognise french fries, pizzas and McNuggets.  They were surprised to learn that their french fries were made from potatoes.  I have posted on this before, this disconnect that children today have with nature and with natural foods. Their lives are dominated by processed food.

Shortly after, I went over to The Walking Man and Mark posted a poem about naming the stars after people he knew.  That made the squeaky wheels in this squirrel’s brain to start to turn and putting two and two together and getting 5, the Lone Grey Squirrel presents the new Zodiac for the modern American youth.

Realising that American kids today cannot relate with the old zodiac signs and names, this new Zodiac has been drawn from things in the modern world and from the youth pop culture.  Another humanitarian service by the Lone Grey Squirrel.  Read below and find your new Zodiac sign.

Jackass the Hardhead

March 21st – April 20th   (previously Aries the Ram)

Aries the Ram was intended to convey the idea of “hardheaded-ness”.  But kids today probably have no idea what a ram is.  The modern equivalent can be found in a popular TV and movie series called “Jackass”, in which a bunch of idiots do their nitwit best to do damage to their heads and other parts of their body by carrying out stupid, stupid stunts.  That they are still alive must be in part be because they have very hard heads or perhaps nothing in them that can be damaged further.  Anyway, they are a great replacement for Aries.

If you are a Jackass, you can expect to have a fall in the near future.  It would be a good idea to write your will now.  On the good side, you have a high chance of winning an award such as the Darwin Awards.

 

Buttercup the Mad Cow

April 21st – May 20th (Previously Taurus the Bull)

Clearly the modern version of the enraged bull is the mad cow.

If you happen to be a Buttercup, you will find that life seems to be going round and round in circles.  Do not try to travel, you will be detained and put down.  But despite all adversity, you remain cheerful cause you are in your own little world.

 

Dolly the Clone

May 21st – June 21st  (previously Gemini the Twins)

Twins are so passe.  In today’s world of mass production, what is just two when you can have 5, 8 or more? (The Octomom was considered for this zodiac sign but I think she has had her 15 minutes of fame, don’t you think?)  The historical cloning of Dolly opens a new era where you could clone yourself.

If you are a Dolly, you will never be alone.  You will find yourself surrounded by like-minded people.  Life, however could be very exciting if you are adventurous but if you are not it could become very monotonous and repetitive.

 

Crab Sticks the Artificial Food

June 22nd – July 22nd (previously Cancer the Crab)

If kids don’t know what a potato is, then they are not likely to know what a crab is.  However, increasingly crab sticks (which are actually made from poor quality fish pieces and made to look and taste like crab legs by the use of artificial flavors and colouring) are found in all supermarkets.

If you are a  Crab Stick, you are  not  what you try to appear to be.  You are pre-occupied with external looks rather than inner substance.  Keep cool or people might smell a fraud.

 

Leo diCaprio

July 23rd – August 22nd (previously Leo the Lion)

Well, did not have to go far to find the modern equivalent  for this zodiac sign.

If you are a Leo, you are extremely gifted and all the world’s your stage.  However, avoid holidaying on islands with a hospital on it (Shutter Island) or remote islands in Thailand (The Beach).  It is also probably not a good idea to go on a cruise (Titanic).

 

Madonna – like a Virgin

August 23rd – September 22nd (previously Virgo the Virgin)

Sadly, this ancient zodiac symbol is rare these days.  The closest symbol from pop culture is Madonna who is “like” a virgin.

If you are a Madonna, you will be highly successful in almost everything you do which is good since you are a material girl/guy.  You are very interested in fashion setting but be advised that wearing two traffic cones just looks stupid.

 

Biggest Loser the Overloaded Scales

September 23rd – October 22nd (previously Libra the Scales)

Jaime Oliver is trying to act against the problem of obesity in American society today.  For many kids, the only scales they have seen is the bathroom scales that scream for mercy when they step on them.  the Biggest Loser is an appropriate modern zodiac symbol.

If you are a Biggest Loser, prepare to work hard.  Unfortunately, people will take delight in shouting at you and making you sweat.  There is a good chance that you will need to change your wardrobe.  You health will improve if you don’t have  a heart attack first.

 

Scorpio the Scorpion

October 23rd – November 21st (previously Scorpio the Scorpion)

Well, no need for any change here.  Unfortunately, scorpions are as common and as well-known as ever.

If you are a Scorpio, this is your time to glow.  Your enemies will be scared of you but try not to let your personality become too toxic.

 

Edward Cullen the Vampire

November 22nd – December 20th (previously Sagittarius the Archer)

This was a difficult one.  I’m pretty sure most of us have never seen a Centaur with a bow and arrow.  However, I guess a half man – half horse creature is basically a monster and today’s favorite monster is Edward Cullen of the Twilight Saga.

If you are an Edward Cullen, now is the time for you to sparkle in the sun.  However, you work better at night.  Stay away from dogs.  Seriously.  You will be extremely popular with girls. Sorry, girls. You will still be popular with girls.

 

Billy the Scapegoat

December 21st – January 19th (previously Capricorn the Goat)

Again these days, not many kids have seen a real goat but in schools they have already learned the concept of a scapegoat.

If you are a Billy, when ever anything happens ….run away before they pin it on you.  The only advice for you this year is to hang around with fellow Billy’s, at least then there is a chance that someone else will get the blame.

 

Coca Cola the Real Thing

January 20th – February 18th (previously Aquarius the Water Bearer)

No kid today would understand what a water bearer is.  Today water comes easily out of a tap and even better, soft drinks, high on sugar, caffeine and bubbles, are also readily available.

If you are a Coca Cola, you have a bubbly personality and the life of many a party.  You work well as part of a global multinational company and your lucky colour is red. You are just classic.  Stay away from Mentos.

 

BP the Oil Spill

February 19th – March 20th (previously Pisces the Fishes)

Not much fishes around since the big Gulf Oil Spill last year.  Instead the beaches are littered with tar balls and oil slicks.  So this makes BP the Oil Spill a most appropriate modern zodiac sign.

If you are a BP, your influence will spread over a wide area.  You may gush with enthusiasm but some people may think that you are crude.  You will not be popular with the birds.  Yet despite setbacks, you will find new areas of business.

Dear reader, thank you if you have read this long post to the end.  If any of you have any corrections or additions to this modern zodiac, do leave your suggestions in the comments.

Heroine Against Modern Slavery

I believe that like me, some of you gentle readers were a little shaken by the last post on the ill treatment of marginalised women in the Magdalene Laundries.  I thought I should follow up that post with a more positive one.

I met a very special person in 2005 when she and I were part of a special study tour of the USA which was organised for representatives of non-profit organisations. She is from Costa Rica and her name is Mariliana Morales.  For a more complete telling of her amazing story, follow the link to my previous post “A Gift of Kindness“.

In a nutshell, Mariliana received a vision from God which directed her to work with and for the rehabilitation and rescue of women forced into prostitution.  In response, she gave up her thriving business career and entered the dark and dangerous world of pimps and organised crime.  Up to that point in her life, she had not even ever met a prostitute but after she obeyed the vision, God led prostitutes seeking help right to her door.

She went on to look for a place to house prostitutes, protect them from their pimps, provide re-training for another job, take in their children and give them education. Thus was founded the Rahab Foundation on November 12th 1997.

In the last 10 years, thousands have benefited from Mariliana’s and the Foundation’s work. Today, they provide sanctuary for over 500 seeking to escape prostitution and to make a new life. Over the years, 70% of those who have come through the Foundation have found freedom to live a new life.

As I was researching for this post, I came to learn that she was honored by U.S. Secretary of State, Hilary Clinton, in June 2009 with an award and  recognition as a “Trafficking in Persons Heroine” or “Heroine against Modern Slavery”.  Congratulations Mariliana and thank you and all those at theRahab Foundation for your great work.

Mariliana Morales, Founder of the Rahab Foundation and Heroine Against Modern Slavery

As the Magdalene Laundries was named after a prostitute Mary Magdalene who is mentioned in the New Testament; so too,  the Rahab Foundation is named after a prostitute, Rahab, who helped carry out God’s will in the Old Testament.

Too find out more, follow this link and this link.

Nor Sleet Nor Snow

Last week, my wife found herself in New York after a two week working road-trip that saw her travel from Asia to Europe and finally to America. We were looking forward to her returning on a Wednesday evening flight from JFK Airport which would bring her back home just in time for the traditional family re-union dinner on the eve of the Chinese New Year.

On Wednesday morning in Kuala Lumpur (9 pm at night in New York), my wife called and gave me the disappointing news that she might not be able to come back as scheduled. Earlier that week, New York had already been hit by a blizzard which resulted in all the airports being closed for three days. Now, barely two days later, another blizzard was rolling in. My wife’s flight was scheduled for 9pm that day but the problem was that the snow storm was expected to roar in at noon. The travel agents and the airports were predicting that no flights would make it out that night.

Even worse, even if my wife could get on a flight the day after or the following days, she would be stranded in Singapore because all the flights from Singapore to Malaysia were fully booked for people traveling home for the Chinese New Year. There seemed noway that she would be spending the Chinese New Year holidays with me. Very depressing news indeed.

Anyway, later that day, it happened to be my weekly bible study group day and I shared the situation with them and challenged them to pray with me for something that if not impossible, seemed to be most improbable; that God would somehow get my wife home for the holidays. That was at 8 am New York time and a phone call from my wife confirmed that the snow was already falling and New York was under a blanket of white. The storm was still expected to peak in another 4 hours and her flight still a distant 13 hours away. The airports still were prediting cancellations.

Well, having committed the matter to God, I went to sleep and woke up the next day to find an exciting SMS on my handphone from my wife. Her flight was in the air and she was on her way back. Hallelujah!

It later turns out that Newark and LaGuardia airports were closed by the storm. JFK Airport remained open but one by one the flights were cancelled. Somehow, her Singapore Airlines flight was boarded, spent three hours de-icing on the runway but finally took off. It was to be the ONLY flight to leave that night.

I have said it before and I’ll say it again. God is the best travel agent there is. Happy Chinese New Year! May great things roar in for you this Year of the Tiger!

Dark Eclipse of the Paper Moon

Disclaimer:- In the last post, I attributed my disappearance as being in the shadow of Jupiter. When I did that, I had no idea that this week would be the Super Mother of All Solar Eclipses. Was it just coincidence? Perhaps, but then again the antenna in my brain that was placed there by visiting Jovian space creatures may have kept me sub-consciously in tune with cosmic happenings. Which ever, I am back, refreshed and raring to blog!

The title of this post is “Dark Eclipse of the Paper Moon”. It really consists of three sub-posts below which are all unrelated and is being told in reverse order.

PAPER MOON.
I know I am a bit late with this post but last Monday was the 40th Anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission and man’s landing on the moon. Or rather the alledged landing. Yes, folks, this squirrel just loves conspiracy theories and one of my favorites is the theory that the lunar landing was all a hoax staged for propaganda and morale benefits.

As the theory goes, it was the Cold War. Russia won the race to space by sending a cosmonaut into orbit. Communism seemed like it was gaining ground all over the world. President Nixon needed a “victory” to shore up American morale. Also we all know how upright and truthful Nixon was. Some bright spark spin doctor suggests that the USA can win the race to the moon via Hollywood technology.

I know the Mythbusters have done a special on TV and have declared the lunar landing conspiracy theory to be a myth but die hards like me …….well, die hard.

The above picture shows a fully lit astronaut descending the stairs in the dark shadow cast by the lunar module (see dark shadow on ground). Bear in mind the only light source is the sun. How is it that the astronaut so brightly lit? Mythbusters claim it is from reflected light from the surrounding surfaces. I find it hard to believe. Flat surfaces reflect light at an angle away from the incident light. It should not light up someone on the darkside of an object.

The above photos show another problematic aspect of the evidence of the lunar landing. The cameras used had crosshairs etched onto the lens as reference points. This will result in clearly visible crosshairs on every photograph and the crosshairs can only be always in front of any images recorded. Yet, if you look at the label “L”, you will see that the crosshair is behind the equipment. There are quite a few of these examples.

The real cute thing is that Hollywood then makes a movie about a fake Mars landing called Capricorn One. Take the truth of a fake lunar landing and make it look like a piece of fiction. It’s like hiding a hoax in plain sight.

Enuff said. Let me know what you think.

ECLIPSE
The grand celestial show on Wednesday turned out to be a bit of a wash-out in most places as the sky was full of clouds. In Malaysia, we had a solid bank of low clouds so we could not even see the 20% eclipse we were expecting.

It is interesting to note that in many parts of Asia, the eclipse of the sun is still viewed with superstition and many will not look at it out of fear. Pregnant Indian women are being told not to go out but to stay in bed for the duration. Of course, these people are probably wiser than those who continue to ignore advice and look directly at the sun without proper shielding. With the eclipse traveling across such wide areas of dense populations, statistically, there must be quite a number of newly blind idiots.

I have experienced a partial eclipse before and it was strange to see the shadows and the reduced light. I too would have freaked out if I hadn’t been taught about it in school. It can be very awesome and intimidating.

However, this time round, it was mostly just rainy.

THE DARK
Malaysia suffered a different sort of darkness. It was not the eclipse of the sun but it may turn out to be an eclipse of justice. It certainly brought a lot of darkness into the lives of one family in particular and the nation as a whole.

On the 15th of July, the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission raided the offices of Members of the State Assembly in Selangor who happen to belong to opposition parties to the Federal Government to investigate alledged misuse of constituency funds. Somehow, the political secretary to one of the State Assemblymen, Teoh Beng Hock, was asked to accompany the officers back to their office to help in their investigations.

It was important to note that Teoh was said to have gone voluntarily and he was a witness and not a suspect. Yet the next day, the 30 year old was found dead on the 5th Floor of the Commissions offices, apparently having plummeted to his death from the 14th Floor. Although, it is known that he was still being interrogated even at 3 am., MACC officers claim to have lost touch with his whereabouts after that.

Teoh was due to marry his pregnant girlfriend on the very next day. Instead, she mourns him at her funeral. How could this young, idealistic public servant who was not even a suspect but voluntarily helping in investigations, ended up tragically killed while at the Commission’s Offices?

We hope that there will be no cover up and justice will be done. Then at least this pall of darkness can be lifted just a little.

Teoh’s girlfriend and his unborn child face a future without him.

I think it is time to get out from the shadows.

Independence Day?

The majority of the readers that come by my humble blog are actually from the US of A. After I kind of went overboard in my exultation of the Red Maple Leaf and the land of Dudley Do-Right in my last post, I wondered if I should post on the Independence Day celebrations of the United States. Strangely, when I visited most of my regular American Blogs, I did not find a single post about the 4th of July. However, even so, I realised it was only right that I did.

So to all my American readers and visitors, “Happy Independence Day!”

Cherish your hard won independence and protect it. You came so close to losing it after that debacle of an election in 2000 when you could not decide Bush or Gore. Soon after, this letter was drafted purportedly by John Cleese and sent to the American people……..it was a notice of revocation of Independence.

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour’, skipping the letter ‘U’ is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter ‘Z’ (pronounced ‘zed’ not ‘zee’) and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’ e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more ‘bleeps’ in the Jerry Springer show. If you’re not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn’t have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won’t have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as “US English”. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of -ize.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents – Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we’re talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can’t cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the ‘World Series’ for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls’ game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don’t believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren’t even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat’s Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat’s Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

John Cleese

Thankfully, you have chosen wisely for now with President Obama and motherland England have their own scandals to deal with; so your Independence seems safe for the next few years.

God is the Best Travel Agent

Many in the mid-west USA will remember that a large number of tornados struck all across the state around the week of June 8th 2008. Tom of Patterns of Ink, covers some of it in his post at that time. The tornados cause a lot of damage as well as some deaths and injuries. There is little that man can do against such fury.

A friend, Daryl, did not know it but he was flying back from Malaysia to Chicago and right into this storm system. Daryl has been studying in a University in Illinois and is currently doing his graduate studies. Each summer, he has returned to be with his family for the holidays and so he had made this trip four times before. It is a long journey.

First there is the long flight to Chicago Airport from Malaysia which is more than 20 hours. Then, typically it takes up to 2 hours to clear customs and immigration. This is because that there is always a lot of students arriving at the same time and Malaysia being a Muslim nation, its students are often interviewed thoroughly by immigration. Daryl needs to take a bus from the airport to the small University town a couple of hours away. He always makes the booking through the internet some weeks before his flight and he always allows for three hours to catch the bus on account of the long delays at immigration. Daryl found that this timing worked very well.

This trip, he had made the same arrangements for booking the bus for three hours after scheduled arrivaal at Chicago airport. However, he was pleasantly surprised that customs and immigration took less than half an hour. The surprising reason was that he was the only returning student on that plane. He found out that he could make an earlier bus and did so.

Some 5 hours later, the bus company called him at his apartment to confirm that he was safe and that he had not been on the later bus which he had made a booking for. Only then did Daryl learn about the severe weather that hit Illinois.

His parents shared this with the church the following Sunday and we gave thanks to God for keeping Daryl safe. The bus that he was supposed to take is the one in the bottom picture.

We believe God took charge of the travel arrangements and protected Daryl from harm. As is my own experience, God is the best travel agent there is.

Squirrel’s Secret Spot 12: Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indian

Back in 2005, I had exactly half a day during the week and two days over the weekend to sightsee in Washington D.C. I had imagined myself spending one and a half days trying to cram in all the Smithsonian Museums and the final day touring the numerous monuments and memorials. Of the museums, I was targeting the Air and Space Museum and Natural History museum. However, on that first free half day, I stumbled upon the Smithsonian’s newest museum, the National Museum of the American Indian (opened in 2004). I liked it so much, I returned the next day and spent another half day there; severely curtailing my visit to the Air and Space Museum to just a couple of hours and causing me to miss the Natural History Museum altogether.

I am not idolising the Native Peoples. They are human as are all of us and because of that, they have their short-comings and flaws. However, also because of that, there is also greatness and as it is in all cultures, there is both common and unique wisdoms and perspectives of life. These are jewels worth preserving and worth knowing and internalising. I am glad that the U.S. finally is promoting and showcasing the cultures of their First Peoples.

The museum is good and has room for improvement. Amongst the first things to try is their cafeteria which gives you an opportunity to try the traditional staples and meats of native peoples throughout the American continent. I could spend a few lunches there.

There were of course many interesting exhibits of the different tribes and peoples. One of my favorite places was this dark chamber where you can sit and listen to different stories and fables. I could fall a sleep and find myself in those stories when I dream.

Of course, the museum has also to deal with the dark truth of the decimation of the native peoples with the coming of the Europeans. There is a wall with all the names of all the tribes and native peoples in the Americas. All have been decimated and many have even ceased to be but their names still live on in the stories told and on the wall was these words, “We are the Evidence.” And now, there is this fantastic museum to help keep their names from fading into the mists of time.

The beautiful curves of the Museum

The stylised harmonious first meeting of Whites and Natives (on left is a Chinese U.N. Observer)

The faces of a people….the Yakima.

It is claimed that the U.S. constitution was based on the constitution of the Iroquois Confederacy which included the Mohawk.

My Mohawk Pin-up Girl. (I mean it with the greatest respect. I believe she represents the strength of grace and form, the power of a resilient people.)

The Craftmanship of the Native Peoples

The Superior Killing Technology of the Whites

The Names that call out to be remembered.

All photos by LGS.

Tough Act to Follow

I want to thank all those who took the trouble to read my last post and for all of you who went as far as to leave comments. Talking about one’s faith is not always easy and one is always concerned that someone is offended or slighted by what is said. I will not back away from saying what I believe but have no intentions of offending anyone and if I had, I apologise.

Quite unexpectedly, according to my sitemeter, the last post was probably the most read post yet on my blog with 170 visitors in two days and also has the most number of comments. Thank you again for your interesting and thoughtful comments. I know this doesn’t compare with some of your blogs which get hundreds of comments per post but it makes the sunshine over at this humble blog.

My problem was to decide what to blog about next. It is a tough act to follow. What could I do that would not appear boring and uninspired after that? Should I write about food cause there are always hungry readers? Should I just put up pretty pictures? Should I gossip about Paris Hilton? Naw, not ready to sink that low.

I decided that when faced with such a predicament, one should not fool around with some amatuerish effort. No, it’s best to call in the professionals. And so, for your comedic relief, here are couple of real pros reprising a famous comedy routine called “Who’s on first?” with a modern twist.