The Canadian Criminal Mind


There’s something funny about Canadians.  By that I mean that they have a peculiarity that sets them apart.  The same seems true about the Canadian criminal.  They are peculiar.

This post was inspired by the recent report of black bears employed to provide security for an illegal marijuana “grow-op”.  Apparently police investigating a site near Christina Lake, British Columbia, found a 1000 plant grow-op and about 10 black bears guarding them.  It seems that the human couple who owned the property had been leaving dog food out to attract the bears.

They did not turn out to be good security because they have grown so accustomed to humans that they remained docile when the police arrived.  One bear even rambled over and climbed onto a police cruiser to observe the raid better.

Black Bear Security

On searching this den of crime, the police also encountered a panicky pot bellied pig in one of two buildings on the property.  In the other building they found a raccoon sleeping “spread eagled on the bed, like a cat” according to RCMP Constable  David Smith.  The raccoon was ejected when it tried to tamper with an evidence box.

The couple face charges for the production and possession of marijuana but also for feeding wildlife.  It may not end well for the bears either.  If they have become too habituated to humans and handouts and they cannot be rehabilitated into the wild, they may have to be put down.

This story reminded me of another strange case in which a man in Toronto grabbed a Canadian Goose from a nearby park.  He then went into a donut shop with the goose under his arm to rob it.  He threatened to twist the goose’s neck unless he was given money.  The manager complied and even went to get more money from a nearby ATM to ensure the safe release of the goose.

A few weeks later, the desperate criminal, one Peter Lerat, was apprehended by police after he tried to extort money from Toronto pedestrians by holding a two month old raccoon and threatening to bash it with a rock.

How to explain all this strange criminal behavior?  Could this all be the result of tight gun laws that Canadian criminals had to arm themselves with bears, geese and raccoons?  What’s next?  Squirrels?

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15 thoughts on “The Canadian Criminal Mind”

  1. Oh, this is funny & just weird.

    Squirrels might do a better job at guarding? The ones around my house are very territorial . . . however, just toward each other. They mostly ignore the people.

  2. Hehehe … perhaps the bears in your first example were docile because they’d been testing the crops they were supposed to guard …

    Anyone who used a squirrel in a hold-up would surely be nuts.

  3. Squirrels as security I doubt effective. Tuesday they found a grow site not far from my home. There are bears around but haven’t been trained as security as far as I know.
    Wednesday I saw one of your peers crossing the road slowly until he saw a string of cars coming from the other direction. It really turned on the speed then.

  4. Heaven help us if the squirrel mafia gets out of control…

    And while thinking about crazy animal stories (zoo stories), did you see the video of the bull in a bull ring in Spain that jumped the barrier and got up into the stands full of spectators the other day ? And unfortunately the girl for Iceland wasn’t there to bash it on the head before it gored some folks…

  5. If they had been mixing some of the product with the dog food the bears might hve been a little better at their assignment or they may have simply wanted some papers and a match from the RCMP.

  6. Joyce,
    We squirrels just need positive motivation. Squirrels say no to “dope”. But if we could be good guards if we were rewarded with nuts or world domination.

    P.S. hope you are well. Miss your posts.

    Owen,
    Shhh! Don’t even mention the family or the Don. I saw that bull on TV launching himself at the crowd. Score one back for the bulls. I see your daydreaming about the Icelandic girl has drifted over from the last post. 🙂

  7. SAW,
    I did see your Canada Geese post. Great photos. Hard to imagine that they have criminal associations.

    Mark,
    I wouldn’t want to go camping near any bears high on the stuff. They would be fearless and aggressive or might be all lovey-dovey and want to share their love with a bear hug. Either way us humans might not survive.

  8. I keep a couple of well-fed squirrels under my pillow at night in case of intruders. I also won’t go out at night by myself without a baby beaver in my purse. I used to carry a fully-grown one, but I was getting carpel tunnel syndrome and my chiropractor advised down-sizing. Also, I don’t know of any Canadian who doesn’t keep either a skunk or a porcupine in their glove compartment in case of car-jackings or other emergencies. We’re a rugged, nature-loving people.

  9. As a fellow Canadian I have no explanation for the offenders mentioned in the post. Clearly there are a few whacko’s hiding amongst the “weed”. This is not a proud moment for me or my country. I will say we are creative and industrious folk and we treasure our wildlife. Just ask the parents of the baby moose that were gunned down here in Ottawa for walking too close to houses and ‘scaring’ people. 😦

  10. I’ve heard the story about the bears but I never heard about the other ones. Crazy if they are true!

    The people that exploit and possibly harm animals this way are scum. If someone came up to me with an animal and threatened to hurt it unless I gave them money, I would reach for my pocket but then turn around and kick them in the balls!

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