Hot Wheels and Me

A friend came by today.  I could hear him approaching a full minute before he arrived.  Vrooom. Vroom. Vroom. Boomed his car engine.  My friend is a fan of high performance cars and he was coming by in his latest love affair……a Ferrari.

This was not the first time that he had brought his Ferrari over but this time he asked if I would like to take a ride in it round the neighborhood.

Now, as you may know, I am a modest type of squirrel – not used to drawing attention to myself; certainly not one who would be associated with flashy cars.  However, it so happened that I was on my way to deliver some reports to someone nearby who is a bit of a snob and had always kinda looked down on me.  So I thought that it would be nice to see his eyes widen in surprise and turn green with envy when I show up at his doorstep in a Ferrari.

So with an evil grin, I hopped in and set off to make my neighbors envious.  We drove over to that guy and I had the pleasure of seeing his jaw drop at the sight of  my ride.  I shouted my goodbye as we drove off but could barely be heard over the sound of the throbbing engine.

My friend suggested that we now proceed to circle the neighbourhood.  He said that the car would be a chick magnet and I agreed to go along for the ride and experience this attraction of chicks.  We laughed happily until we turned onto the main road …….that’s when the engine died out and all kinds of warning lights came flashing on.

We were stuck in the middle of the road and blocking traffic.  We were certainly a magnet attracting all forms of unwanted attention.  My friend tried restarting the engine and it came to life.  We sighed in relief and started to get going again.  We made another 100 m before the engine died out again at an even worse location.  We had no choice but to push the car to the side of the road to the accompaniment of horns blowing from cars that were blocked by us.

My Hot Wheels Being Towed Away

All I wanted was to spend a half hour cruising around in hot wheels to impress the neighbors; what I got was a 5 minute ride before spending the next 2 hours trying to get the car towed away to a garage.  In the meantime, we had to deal with a few snide “Nice car, doesn’t it run?” remarks from the passerbys.  It certainly did attract a lot of attention when the tow truck showed up.

My short-lived attempt to experience the life of the rich and famous reminded me of the plaintive cry of Zero Mostel’s Teyve the Milkman from the musical “Fiddler on the Roof”.

“Lord who made the lion and the lamb,
You decreed I should be what I am.
But would it spoil some vast eternal plan?
If I were a wealthy man.”

Apparently, some vast eternal plan would be spoiled.

19 thoughts on “Hot Wheels and Me”

  1. Love this and so glad snob didn’t go by as you were stopped. Sometimes it is better to be who you are and just recognize that the snob has a failing that you don’t have. Glad I finally could comment.

  2. Awe! I’m happy you had the chance to ride in a Ferrari but I’m sorry it broke down on you guys. That stinks! But I’m sure you were an encouragement to your friend. At least he wasn’t alone in his predicament and you were there to help him push the vehicle to the side of the road. {just trying to find a silver lining here 🙂 }

  3. Riot Kitty,
    I did! But the car stalled just after we drove by his house and turned round the corner. Hopefully he did not see that!

    Glad that you are able to comment again. You have been missed. And thanks for your encouraging advice. Still all I wanted was 30 minutes in the car. Not asking too much, was I?

  4. Mago,
    Does the Tuk Tuk come in flaming red color and accelerates to 120 kmh in 4 seconds?

    Yes, it broke down after I delivered the reports but unfortunately before the chick magnet part.

  5. Mr. Charleston,
    It was great while it happened but it was happening for too short a time.

    Thanks for trying to find the silver lining but didn’t cheer me up much. 😦

  6. Alas, even the most fancypants among automobiles can betray its admirers via mechanical weakness. Even a Ferrari is only as good as its weakest part. How humbling for an already humble and modest squirrel.

  7. philosophermouse,
    My friend won’t park in most places unless there is jockey parking or he can see and get to the car quickly. (afraid some hooligan will scratch the car). He can’t drive it when it rains. He can’t go anywhere with high speed bumps. He can’t drive it to get groceries (no space for groceries). He’s really a slave to the car. Still, it’s nice to ride in it if you don’t have to worry about all that.

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