A friend came by today. I could hear him approaching a full minute before he arrived. Vrooom. Vroom. Vroom. Boomed his car engine. My friend is a fan of high performance cars and he was coming by in his latest love affair……a Ferrari.
This was not the first time that he had brought his Ferrari over but this time he asked if I would like to take a ride in it round the neighborhood.
Now, as you may know, I am a modest type of squirrel – not used to drawing attention to myself; certainly not one who would be associated with flashy cars. However, it so happened that I was on my way to deliver some reports to someone nearby who is a bit of a snob and had always kinda looked down on me. So I thought that it would be nice to see his eyes widen in surprise and turn green with envy when I show up at his doorstep in a Ferrari.
So with an evil grin, I hopped in and set off to make my neighbors envious. We drove over to that guy and I had the pleasure of seeing his jaw drop at the sight of my ride. I shouted my goodbye as we drove off but could barely be heard over the sound of the throbbing engine.
My friend suggested that we now proceed to circle the neighbourhood. He said that the car would be a chick magnet and I agreed to go along for the ride and experience this attraction of chicks. We laughed happily until we turned onto the main road …….that’s when the engine died out and all kinds of warning lights came flashing on.
We were stuck in the middle of the road and blocking traffic. We were certainly a magnet attracting all forms of unwanted attention. My friend tried restarting the engine and it came to life. We sighed in relief and started to get going again. We made another 100 m before the engine died out again at an even worse location. We had no choice but to push the car to the side of the road to the accompaniment of horns blowing from cars that were blocked by us.
All I wanted was to spend a half hour cruising around in hot wheels to impress the neighbors; what I got was a 5 minute ride before spending the next 2 hours trying to get the car towed away to a garage. In the meantime, we had to deal with a few snide “Nice car, doesn’t it run?” remarks from the passerbys. It certainly did attract a lot of attention when the tow truck showed up.
My short-lived attempt to experience the life of the rich and famous reminded me of the plaintive cry of Zero Mostel’s Teyve the Milkman from the musical “Fiddler on the Roof”.
“Lord who made the lion and the lamb,
You decreed I should be what I am.
But would it spoil some vast eternal plan?
If I were a wealthy man.”
Apparently, some vast eternal plan would be spoiled.