All Rather Confusing Really


These days the world can be a very confusing place; a place of smoke and mirrors.  Things just aren’t what they seem.  Ever heard of the idiom, “call a spade a spade”?  Well apparently most of the world hasn’t heard of it.

I happened to walk around my local shopping mall and I must say it can be bewildering.  There is a shop called “Nose”.  Guess what it sells…………………… it sells shoes.  Why would Nose sell shoes?  What is the connection?  Sure my nose is offended by my sweaty gym shoes but the connection is rather obscure.  I mean, I expect to buy shoes from a place called “Feet” or “Foot Locker” but from “Nose” I would have expected to buy nasal drips or get an operation to make one’s nose more pert and petite.

And this was not isolated.  “Bread and Butter” is not a bakery or a grocery store but sells clothing. Meanwhile “House” doesn’t sell household goods but is a restaurant.  And what would you expect from a place called WWII?  A decade ago, I would have thought it was some museum dedicated to the history of the Second World War but today I know it sells watches.

I have been doing renovation on my home and my foray into the world of building and construction shows it to be a similar world of smoke and shadows.  For example, my new “wooden floor” is actually a piece of vinyl with a printed and embossed wood pattern; all the looks and feel of wood but none of the problems.  I also have ceramic tiles that pretends to be natural limestone.  I also saw cement made to look like wood and wood that was made to look like cement. Huh?

I also followed with amusement the evolution of the telephone.  As you may remember, the old house phones had a handset attached by cord to a base with a rotary dialer. Then we got rid of the rotary dialer and replaced it with push buttons.  This led to a plethora of phones that look like something else. And so we saw phones that look like fruits, animals, household items, Coca Cola cans and other beverages, food ( hamburgers etc) and even body parts.  Then came the smartphones which basically just look like a slim rectangular box.  Of, course that did not last long.  Phone cases and attachments came along to make smartphones look like something else.  But isn’t it ironic that attachments now exist to make smartphones look like………wait for it………….the traditional phone!

New phone pretending to be an older phone
New phone pretending to be an older phone

What a crazy world we live in!!!!

Oh, and I forgot…….. if you came to this blog expecting to read the rantings of a grey squirrel (Sciurus carolinensis), I hope you are not disappointed by the fact that I am a middle-aged pudgy Chinese guy from Malaysia (Homo sapien chinensis malaysiana rotundus).  Yup! It’s all smoke and mirrors.

P.S.  To all you Goon Show fans out there; this reminds me of the episode entitled “The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-On-Sea“.  Below is the section that I refer to;

Greenslade:
Seagoon and Bluebottle travelled by sea. To avoid detection by enemy U-boats they spoke German throughout the voyage, heavily disguised as Spaniards.

Sellers:
As an added precaution they travelled on separate decks and wore separate shoes on different occasions.

Seagoon:
The ship was disguised as a train, to make the train sea-worthy it was done up to look like a boat and painted to appear like a tram.

Milligan:
All rather confusing really.

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16 thoughts on “All Rather Confusing Really”

  1. There actually is a reason for the misuse of words—I don’t know what it is but now I want a smart phone so i can look dumb while snapping pictures of German speaking Spaniards traveling in a tram disguised train boat wearing nose shoes bought from WWII while avoiding U-Boats.

  2. This post reminds me of a picture I saw on another blog I follow recently. He went to Malaysia and took this shot of a menu board at a dessert stand there. The menu options are interesting, but aren’t particularly descriptive…

  3. evilsquirrel13,
    Haha. I too don’t know what most of those things are in that menu board. But we have something here which is called Michael Jackson – it is soyabean milk with black grass jelly – it’s black; it’s white!

  4. What?! A Chinese guy living in Malaysia? WTF? All these months I thought I was talking with a squirrel. Even told my friends that I know a squirrel who can type. Drats! I’m so disappointed.

  5. There’s a store here called “Earth to Old City.” Sells art and tchotchkes, mostly.

    I get that vinyl can be embossed to look like wood but how in the world can it feel like wood? Wood has a very distinctive feel.

  6. Secret Agent,
    I have to tell you that the vinyl really feels like old weathered wood. They call it “antique wood”. My grandma’s house was all wooden and I have fond memories of the feel of the wood. So I was looking out for that and I actually tried a lot of real timber products but today’s timber is not as well cured and dried as in days of yore and the vinyl actually felt better than the real wood. I know. Confusing really.

  7. Oh you are not really a squirrel Bugger. lover your latin name though I must behere a Homo sapien new zealandis, hollanda rotundus. lol Love it
    Love your phone picture. Actually we are glad we still have an old fashioned cord phone. It seems they are the only one you can plug straight into the wall when electricity stops working

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