Alternate Reality is Real

Do you believe in all this mumbo-jumbo about alternative universes, where things are just a little bit different from our own reality?  Well, Steven Hawking believes they exist so that MUST make it true.

Anyway, for all you skeptics, the Lone Grey Squirrel would like to share some observations that prove that not only do these alternate universes exist, sometimes they spill over into our world.

(Cue Twilight Zone theme music and Rod Serling’s voice:  “Ladies and Gentlemen, sometimes the best intentions can be twisted.  I present for your consideration……one lone grey squirrel and his love advice given a technical makeover in …..the Twilight Zone!”

Back in February 10th, 2008, this very blog introduced Dr. Love, a famous witch doctor from Namibia who is his renowned for his advice on love (Advice from Dr. Love).   Remember you heard all that good advice here first.  Then, recently, the esteemed BBC did a report on Dr. Love………only he wasn’t the same guy and he was from Congo and not Namibia!  Instead of dispensing love potions and traditional wisdom, he was giving out scientific advice and using mobile apps! What is going on?  Alternate reality surely!

In the Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel, this is the charming and mystical Dr. Love (or Aikenvoodoo-U Cassanova Lovelace the Great).

And this is the guy from the BBC alternative reality report, the rather normal and scientific Dr. Love (or Dr. Aimé Lokulutu).  If you want to see the original unbelievable BBC Report, follow this link.

And that’s not the only strange thing that’s been going on.  I love Oprah.  In my world, Oprah is a well respected, successful, media celebrity and all round good person.  But suddenly, this alternative Oprah appears on the news and it seems this version is a political Oprah who might run for President of the USA.  But the really strange thing is that  this Oprah has three hands………..surely….only…in the Twilight Zone.

Picture from the cover of Vanity Fair’s 24th Annual Oscar Issue:-  Oprah’s hands:- Number 1 is on her hip, Number 2 is on her thigh and Number 3 is on Reese Witherspoon’s waist.

My Future as a Soothsayer

Chinese New Year is rolling round next month and this coming year is the Year of the Dog.  I was wondering what I might post about it when I came across a post I did way back in 2009.  In it, I made certain predictions based on the Chinese Zodiac.  I have decided to re-post it here.  Keeping in mind that these predictions were made 9 years ago, I think you will find that they are uncanny.

Pay particular attention to 2016, 2017 and 2018 and tell me if I should not be called “Nutterdamus”.

The Lone Grey Squirrel is upset that the Chinese Zodiac does not include, well, squirrels. However, he will not dwell on this glaring oversight because that is just the graciousness you would come to expect from the Squirrel. Instead, he will make predictions for the coming years at the expense of all the other animals. Without further ado, here are Squirrel Sifu’s predictions.

2009 (Ox) – Normally, one would be tempted to say that during the Year of the Ox, we might expect that there will be a Bull Run on the stock Exchange. However, given the global economic depression, it would not be wise to predict such a thing. So instead, perhaps it is sufficient to say that this will be an Ox-picious year, if for nothing else but as the start of President Obama’s period in Ox-fice.

2010 (Tiger) – This will be a great year cause it is my year and I have waited a long 12 years for it to come round again. Obviously, it will be a TIGER-rific year. It will be a good year to organise parties and large social events as everyone will have a roaring good time.

2011 (Rabbit) – The wild socialising of the previous year will lead to a huge baby boom this year which is most appropriate for the Year of the Rabbit. On the economic front, some Hare-Brained investment schemes will leave many people hopping mad.

2012 (Dragon) – Further economic problems lead to draconian belt-tightening measures. On the romance front, ladies frequenting nightclubs and bars must be especially careful of lounge lizards who tend to be particularly active this year.

2013 (Snake) – Obviously, this is a year to be careful of snake-oil salesmen with forked tongues. The best way to survive this year is to keep low to the ground.

2014 (Horse) – The economy will have finally turned the corner and the stock market will gallop to new highs. However in the rush and euphoria, try to make sure you are not trampled in the stampede. Ladies, this is a good year for Mare-trimony; so start lasso-ing and corralling your stallions.

2015 (Sheep) – Another good year with the economy charging ahead but the Government will raise taxes to fleece the new found wealth of the nouveau rich. Beware of a greater chance of locking horns with family members and its ram-ifications. A good year for insomniacs (think about it or rather, count on it).

2016 (Monkey) – After two terms under President Obama, the political mood swings and unfortunately a monkey is returned as President. In world news, U.N. observers will declare that there was wide-spread monkey business during elections in a South American banana republic.

2017 (Rooster) – A good year to increase your brood. For many, this year will be a wake-up call to the hardships caused by global Warming. Erratic weather make it difficult for farmers to scratch a living. If you work hard though, you’ll have something to crow about before the end of the year.

2018 (Dog) – It will be a tough bitch of a year as businesses fight over a smaller pie. A prominent politician will be dogged by allegations of corruption and the FBI will eventually collar him.

2019 (Pig) – Good times come rolling in but once again the political porkers will dip into the national trough. Health issues arise from excessive pigging out by the masses.

2020 (Rat) – We come full cycle to my cousin the Rat and so does the economy. How bad will it be? Let’s just say that you can see the rats as they abandon the sinking corporate ships. Do not share secrets with colleagues this year. Unfortunately, they will rat on you.

All these predictions are given free and so there is no guarantee given that they will come true. For more detailed and accurate personal predictions, contact the Squirrel at squirrelseesall.com. The more you pay, the more accurate the predictions. This is called the Gross Prophet Margin.

2017 – The Year That Was

The First Morning of 2018

As we say goodbye to a mixed bag of nuts that was 2017, I thought I would look back at the year that was………..

January – The year could not have had a better start with the birth of my niece, Sofia.  Shortly, she will be one year old…….a happy, chatty one year old who loves to dance to latin dance tunes. (Well, I’ll be a Monkey’s Uncle)

February – I went to Japan to chill, eat sushi and attain inner peace amidst the zen environments there.  A wonderful experience despite the bitter cold.  Unfortunately, things in Malaysia was very far from at peace.  We were rocked by abductions of church pastors and social activists (who remain missing till today) and by “Cold War” style assassination conducted by agents of North Korea.   (Like in the Movies)

March – A quiet month which I spent daydreaming about my trip to Kyoto, Japan in February and fantasizing about going there again.  My thoughts was particularly on the wonderful bamboo forest made famous in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon . (Bamboo Forest Arashiyama)

April – June – This squirrel shook his head at what was going on in the world and decided to curl up in a ball and cover his eyes with his bush tail and tried to wish the bad things away.  I kind of lost my way a bit and did not blog.  Sadly, when I came out of hibernation, the world was not much better and the Twitter-in-Chief was still a twit.

 

July – Still trying to find my blogging feet again, I found solace in the rich biodiversity of Malaysia and celebrated the first successful attempt to capture the beautiful but rare Bornean Bay Cat.  ( B.B.C. – Cool Cat)

August – When things are not going well in the country, there will always be groups of old men sitting in cafes drinking their coffees and gossiping about the scandals while whining and complaining.  Only natural but it is pointless unless more is done and action taken.  Don’t just sit and complain but get up and do something positive to make things better.  So this squirrel resolved to do more to be part of the solution and an important start was to join a 40 day national prayer and fast. (Being a Watchman)

September – Another year older and a computer that decided to throw a hissy-fit.  Despite my best efforts at dropping hints, nobody bought me a new computer as a birthday present.  So another year older with a computer that reminds me about becoming obsolete. (Beyond Road Kill)

October – I went on a pilgrimage to  Santiago de Compostela in Spain.  Some people walk for weeks to complete this long distance pilgrimage.  I kind of just went straight to the final destination by Uber – you know, a short cut!  This squirrel is not just a pretty face!   Part of my little foray into Portugal and Spain.  (The ‘Creaking’ Horror)

November – I was still recovering from the shock of being targeted by light fingered villains in Lisbon.  I’ve been in the market for a good tamper proof backpack ever since.  Despite my best efforts at dropping hints, I did not get said backpack as a Christmas present.  I am beginning to think my friends are either very dense or are ignoring my perfectly reasonable hints.  (A Series of Unfortunate Incidents)

December – This squirrel tried to avoid the trappings of the commercialized Christmas and spent time celebrating with loved ones as well as those going through difficult times; remembering that “the humblest of people catch a glimpse of their worth;
For it isn’t to the palace that the Christ child comes;
But to shepards and street people, hookers and bums. (lyrics from Bruce Cockburn’s Cry of a Tiny Babe)  (Outside Looking In)

Confession and Apology

Not me! (Photo from Sweaterdoll)

In case you are wondering, that isn’t me.  It is kinda grey but it isn’t a real squirrel.  I KNOW!  Hard to believe, right?

He’s kind of my body double but he’s not very good at it cause he can’t reply to your comments.  Nope, the poor thing is illiterate.  Oh, and maybe he isn’t alive.

Either way, you are not going to get any response from him while I am traveling which is till the end of the month.  If you see new posts on this blog during this time, it’s probably a ghost writer that I hired to press the post button on some pre-written material.  Do not try to communicate with him.  He only responds on Ouija board and you don’t really want him haunting you.

So apologies in advance if you don’t get any responses to your comments. See you in December.

Beyond Road Kill

Hi guys and gals.  Sorry I have been missing from the blogosphere for about two weeks.  In case, you were wondering what had happened to your favorite rabid grey squirrel, well, I’ll tell you.   I was ROADKILL.

Well, at least my also greying iMac was.  Below is a before and after photo.

BEFORE: My Usual Screensaver

AFTER:  My Computer is Roadkill

One moment, I was considering how wonderful I look as Thor the Squirrel-God of Thunder and the next……….roadkill!

(Don’t those lines look like tyre threads?)

What followed were a few trips to various repair centres while carrying my elegant, sleek, silver and @#$&%@# darn heavy computer.  Then there was the anxious wait.  Will it survive?  Fortunately, all is now well.  Even my grand-niece, Ari, helped by invoking the healing power of the Lego Squirrel!

Ari: “By the power of GreySquirrel – Live Squirrel Live!”

Now ain’t she a cutie?

I’m Back

Hi everyone.  I’m back.

I hid in my secret underground hideout, hibernating for the last four months, just so as to give you some time to sort things out but now that I have popped my head out, what do I see? I see that the Twitter-in-chief is still President of the USA.

But it wasn’t just fear that had made me keep a low profile.  To be honest, I was feeling a bit dry; like I was running out of things I wanted to say.  But I decided to give it a try again.  I hope you will be patient with me cause I’m not sure where I’ll be heading with this.  Baby steps. One post at a time.

To celebrate my coming back to the blogosphere, – like a bad penny that keeps turning up or a Hollywood sequel or reboot that we didn’t need like “The Mummy”, and also to belatedly salute my favorite country’s 150th Birthday, please enjoy this Canadian award winning gem.

(squirrel tattoo image from tattooimages.biz)

The Answer

It is strange how this post came about.  I had a few competing ideas for a post but decided I wanted to share a song here.  But then, there were a few new songs that I thought were “share-worthy”.  So how to narrow it down and pick one?

While I was still pondering my choices, I visited some blogs.  A couple of blogs had posts that made me remember a dark period in my life when I went through a life sapping depression or rather it reminded me of how I was able to escape its chains.

First, Beth posted a short quote by Eugene Kennedy about friendship and somehow it was a powerful trigger for memories of a dear friend whose unquestioning, non-judging, accepting, patient friendship was like a lifesaver that kept me from going under.

Then, I read the post by Caralyn, who has a wonderfully powerful and inspiring blog in which she shares about her journey through the “throes of anorexia”.  In this post, she openly answers the questions that many ask her – “How did I break free? How did I embrace recovery when I was so sick.”  Her answer was “It was God”.  She made the choice to begin her journey of recovery and asked God for His help and found that God gave her all  the strength and help she needed for that journey.  Well, that would be my answer too about how I recovered from shattered self worth and depression.

For these reasons, I would like to share with you this beautiful song “The Answer” by Corrine May.  I only recently heard this song.  Its melody is actually that of “Jupiter”by Gustav Holst from his Planets suite which is probably my all time favorite classical piece.  But the lyrics by Corrine May reflects what I have shared in this post and what I hold true to my own heart. (Incidentally, Corrine is from Singapore which is my part of the world – so go buy her music!)

Hope you enjoy it.

I believe You are the answer to every tear I’ve cried
I believe that You are with me,
My rising and my light. 

Give me strength when I am weary
Give me hope when I can’t see
Through the crosses I must carry
Lord, bind my heart to Thee

That when all my days are over
And all my chores are done,
I may see Your risen Glory
Forever where You are.

Squirrel Resurfacing – A Media Event

Mulder and Scully are back!  The iconic X Files television series has been resurrected after a hiatus of more than 13 years.

Mulder and Scully are back!  Much older……… much, much older! (Hmmm did I also lose my youthful looks in those 13 years?).  But what’s important is that “chemistry”, that “spark”, the “sizzle” between them is still alive and kicking.

Mulder and Scully are back!  And so inspired, the Lone Grey Squirrel has decided to return to the blogosphere after an absence of 13 months (not 13 years!).

The X Files return has been billed as a “Media Event”.  Likewise watch out for the return of the Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel – 2016’s Blogosphere Event!  It all happens here …..starting on February 1st.

Remember………the nuts are out there!

 

Automaton

In this Brave New World in which we find ourselves, many human jobs and roles have been taken over by robots.  It was inevitable therefore that the Lone Grey Squirrel too has been replaced with an automaton.

(Merrian-Webster Dictionary:  Automaton – a mechanism that is relatively self-operating; especially : robot)

Photoshopped image: Worth

Once again, I have to make a short trip and will be away for at least a fortnight.  During that time, I may have very limited access to the blogosphere and therefore will be unable to post.

In my absence, the blog management in their ‘wisdom’ have decided not to hire a temp or ghost writer to keep the posts rolling.  Instead, they have decided to try out an automaton – in the form of the WordPress Post Scheduler.

So, you will still see posts appear here at regular intervals during my two week absence but be WARNED……..there is no hot blooded squirrel behind that post button. *SHUDDER*  There will be nothing there but cold electronics.

I hope you will continue to visit and leave comments which I can enjoy later but do not expect any replies as your wit and humor are lost to the cold eyes of the automaton.

I hope to see you guys again in person on the blogosphere in two weeks …………if the powers that be don’t decide to replace me permanently. *SHUDDER*

The State of the Realm Report

Holy Crown of Hungary (Photo by LGS)

Well, for the umpteenth time, one of my new year’s resolution is to STOP PROCRASTINATING!!!!

So doing my annual end of the year report on the state of the Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel about a week into the next year isn’t so bad, is it?  What’s a week past the deadline between friends.

However, the real problem is that when I looked back on 2013, there isn’t much to report.  Been a kind of quiet year in the Realm.    I guess that the biggest single event of the year was my enforced exile for 7 months while my nest was being repaired and renovated.  Something that I am quite glad is over and I am now comfortably installed in my spanking new mad scientist laboratory.

Don’t get  me wrong, it wasn’t a bad year.   Let’s just say it wasn’t a vintage year.  Lots of things went well for which I thank God but it wasn’t a vintage year.

No major achievements like winning the Nobel Prize (Drats and curses – wasn’t my “donation enough”?!?!);  world conquest (bummer) or winning the lottery jackpot (bummer-er).

And my other great desire …….. world peace?  The world didn’t do well in that regard at all last year.

As far as blogging is concerned, it also wasn’t a hot year for me.  I took leave from blogging for 4 months and I only managed 27 posts for the year.  Not very prolific at all.  That’s just about a post every two weeks.

So what can we look forward to in 2014?

Well, sadly in Malaysia, the year has already started badly.  Just two days into the new year, Islamic religious officers raided the Bible Society of Malaysia, arrested two people and confiscated more than 300 Malay-language bibles.  Some leaders also called for protests to be held outside churches.

This was the latest chapter in a saga which started just over 3 years ago in which Christians were told that they were no longer allowed to use some 35 words of Arabic origin which they have used in the Malay and the indigenous languages bibles for several centuries, contending that these words are for the exclusive use of Muslims and no other religion.

Christians comprise some 10 per cent of the country’s population of 29 million and the  Malay-language Bibles are widely used by the indigenous tribes in the states of Sarawak and Sabah (Christian majority states) and by the Orang Asli (indigenous peoples)  of West Malaysia which accounts for about 66% of all the Christians.

The use of the word “Allah” (the word meaning God) by Christians led to several churches being torched and vandalised in 2010 after a high court ruling allowing the Christians the right to use the word.

Ahead of a state election in Sarawak, the government agreed to a 10 point plan which basically assured that Christians that they could continue to import, print and use the Malay bibles as long as certain conditions were met.  This recent raid, arrests and confiscation of the Malay bibles seem to fly in the face of that agreement.

Whatever your religious beliefs, I hope you will join in and pray for tolerance, peace and respect between peoples of all faiths.

Here in the Realm, I have decided to focus on more achievable targets than world conquest.  I plan to post an average of 2 posts per week this year.  Wish me luck.  It’s only the first week and I am already behind on the strike rate.