Category Archives: relationships

Speak Sweetly and Join a Club


Attention ladies!  Have I got a club for you!  Men, you might find this interesting too.  Last weekend, the Malaysian chapter of the “Obedient Wives Club” or OWC was launched in Kuala Lumpur with 800 registered members.  This is the second chapter of the club; the first being in Jordan with 200 members.  Another chapter is due to be launched in Indonesia soon and it is probably a matter of time before you will find one near where you live.

The OWC believes that many of society ills such as prostitution, domestic violence, human trafficking and abandoned babies can be solved if the man is kept happy, fulfilled and sexually satisfied within the marriage context.   Well, I will let the OWC Vice President (or is that president of vice; I get confused) explain it herself  below……

She went on to say that to achieve this, wives must “serve their husbands better than a first-class prostitute”.  The Club will be offering women classes on sexual techniques and performances as well as marriage counseling.  For advanced members, you might be invited to join their sister club, “the Polygamy Club” (I kid you not), in situations where one obedient wife is not enough to satisfy .

I suppose clubs like these have always been important throughout the history of human male – female relationships.  For example, I imagine the following to be a typical interaction during the distant Stone Age.

Caveman says to Cavegirl, “I like you.  Would you like to join my club?”

Cavegirl says, “Sure, I would like to join your club.”

Caveman hits her on the head with club and drags her off, unconscious by her hair into marital bliss.

Clubs Were Also Important in Stoneage Marraiges

While female members of OWC get to go to all those exciting classes, one has to wonder what the club offers to male members.  I don’t know this as a fact but if they model the club along the lines of  a book club, perhaps the men get a wife-of-the-month selection.

Oh, I  am sure that you can tell how proud I am that this comes from Malaysia.  I await with anticipation, your thoughts on this, dear readers.

Remembering a Broken Heart


Once in awhile, I come across a singer-songwriter that just knocks my socks off and makes me take notice.  A strong, distinctive and emotive voice together with a unique style are of course part of a winning hand for a singer.  I much prefer singers who perform well “live” and unplugged and do not rely on gimmicks or near nudity to sell themselves.   But my greatest respect and admiration go to those who write and perform their own original music. And once in awhile, there comes someone whose lyrics are just outstanding.

My recent “discovery” is Adele.  This British singer (full name is Adele Laurie Blue Adkins) has already come out with two best selling albums, “19” and “21”.  Her relatively new and short career thus far has been strewn with awards and recognitions.  In 2008, she was named the Critics’ Choice at the BRIT Awards.  In 2009, she won “Best New Artist” and “Best Female Pop Vocal Performance” at the 51st Grammy Awards.  She is the first living artiste since the Beatles to achieve a top five hit in both the Singles and the Album charts at the same time.  Yet, I have not heard her get any airtime on Malaysian radio or TV – maybe they don’t “get” her music.

In the video below which features her singing her song at the recent 2011 BRIT Awards, the host presenter says that “she is able to describe exactly how you felt a certain point in your life and she is able to do that time and time again……….if you have ever had a broken heart, you are about to remember it now.”  I think it is quite an accurate description of her songs.  Are you ready to remember your broken heart?  Below are the amazing lyrics and song.

Someone Like You by Adele

I heard that you’re settled down,
That you found a girl and you’re married now,
I heard that your dreams came true,
Guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you,
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain’t like you to hold back or hide from the light,I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it,
I had hoped you’d see my face,
And that you’d be reminded that for me it isn’t over,

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don’t forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,”
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah,

You know how the time flies,
Only yesterday was the time of our lives,
We were born and raised in a summer haze,
Bound by the surprise of our glory days,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it,
I had hoped you’d see my face,
And that you’d be reminded that for me it isn’t over,

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don’t forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,”

Nothing compares,
No worries or cares,
Regrets and mistakes, they’re memories made,
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you,
Don’t forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,”

Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don’t forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,”
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead.

 
Vodpod videos no longer available.

More Valentine’s Day Advice


Valentine’s Day is upon us again and many people are scared!  Yes, scared. In parts of India and Malaysia, for example, religious leaders and authorities are scared that their young people will engage in all kinds of sinful and immoral activity like kissing and hugging.  Some are calling for police and religious zealots to patrol the streets and prevent young people from committing these Valentine’s Day sins.  The young people are scared too and worry about how to avoid these “moral police”.  Some see it as a clash between decadent Western values and traditional values.

Always ready to make this world a better place and to help improve understanding between cultures and generations, the Lone Grey Squirrel has asked his old friend, Bob (also known as Dr. Love) to give advice this Valentine’s Day.  Dr. Love had previously made appearances in this blog in 2008 and 2009.   This time, Dr. Love answers questions sent to him by confused young people and uses his knowledge of traditional non-Western values to give them wise advice.

 

Dr. Love aka Aikenvoodoo-U Cassanova Lovelace the Great Witch Doctor - a face that you can trust

The Lone Grey Squirrel presents;

DR. AIKENVOODOO-U CASSANOVA LOVELACE THE GREAT WITCH DOCTOR answers the questions of your love-struck heart:-

Question 1:  Dear Doctor, I am shy and don’t know how to start a conversation with a girl.  Can you help me? (Thanks, “Shy and Lonely”)

Dear “Shy and Lonely”,

What you need is to learn some “pick-up” lines.  These “pick-up” lines help make a good first impression and must send out a strong message to the girl to get her interested.

For example, try this to impress her that you are well cultured; “Hi, do you want to see my shrunken head collection?”

Or to tell her that you are financially well off, try; “I have more cows than I can count with my fingers and toes.”

Or keep it straight and simple; “Me Tarzan, You Jane!” or something like that.

 

Question 2:  Dear Dr. Love,  Can you tell me how far it is appropriate to go on the first date?  Thanks, “Curious”.

Dear Curious,

In the West, they often answer this question by telling you whether it is okay to get to first base, second base or home run.  This is some strange reference to the game of baseball.  Of course, most of the world have no understanding of baseball other than there is a diamond somewhere on the field, spitting is involved and they have a place where they pen up the bulls.  I suspect that the diamond is hidden in the mound.  Anyway, in our part of the world we play football or what the Americans call soccer, so I will answer using soccer terms so that you will understand better.

So listen up.  Your date will be surprised if you do not at least try a forward pass.  But be careful once you go pass the midline and make advances to the other half.  If you decide to get more physical and tackle, she may cry foul.  The further you get closer to the goal, the greater the risk that you will be called up for being off-side.  Remember if you commit a serious offence, the father may often execute a penalty kick to the balls.  Whatever you do, avoid the attention of the referees or moral police.  Run if you hear a whistle.

 

Question 3:  Dear Dr. Love,  I am in love with a beautiful girl but she doesn’t love me.  I have tried to impress her with my wealth by buying her presents, diamonds, and a sports car.  Still she says her heart belongs to another.  What can I do?  Thanks, Desperate.

Dear Desperate,

There is only one thing that will work.  A love potion.  I so happen to have a very special Love Potion No: 9 which I could send to you for a small fee of presents, diamonds and a sports car.

If you need help with other matters of the heart, send your questions and all your money to  “Dr. Love at Reallyrichwitchdoctors and Assorted Cons, Swampland, Hurricane Alley, Florida.”

 

It’s Still Christmas


This is a post about Christmas.  Why am I posting about Christmas when it is already the 10th of January?  Well, if you look at my new year’s resolution for 2009 and 2010, it was to “stop procrastinating”.  Sadly, in 2011, I have failed again! 🙂

As regular viewers will have read, 2011 has kicked off at warp factor 5 and I am only now trying to reunite mind and body after the hyperspace jump.  There! I hope that pseudo-scientific mumbo jumbo will somehow reverse the techionic field and presto………a Christmas post!

Normally, when I have let time slip by on a post idea, I usually let it go to sink into oblivion but this one’s special.  I did something I hadn’t done for a long time at Christmas.  I thought about someone other than myself.

I confess that for various reasons, I tend to like to spend Christmas alone; away from the noise and celebrations.  For years, I have turned down invitations to Christmas parties in favour of a quiet night at home.  In the same way, although going house to house caroling was something I enjoyed in my youth, I have not done so for years.  Good grief, even as I type this, I am beginning to believe that I was turning into a Grinch.

Well, not this year!  Oops, sorry. Last year!  I joined a group from church to visit a children’s shelter.  This 3 bedroom single storey link house houses 24 children from the ages of 6 months to 16 years old.  Most are not orphans but were either abandoned or abused.  Some were given up by their single mother parent because of poverty.

It was a fantastic experience.  We sang Christmas carols, had our young storyteller tell the Christmas story, gave out presents (practical ones like water tumblers or shoes) and finally had a festive meal together.  Everyone from church joined in the effort from the young kids, teenagers, working adults and seniors.

Even though we were there for only about 3 hours, some of us were able to relate with the shelter kids.  It was also good to see some of the young people who come from privileged backgrounds also being able to reach out to these children at their level as real friends.  Already some of them help out at this shelter from time to time.

You know, this was one of the best Christmases I have had in a very long time.  The reason is that I looked beyond myself and my normal self-indulgent reverie at this time of the year and reclaimed the joy of telling others and sharing with others, “Joy to the World”.  If you want a merry Christmas or indeed a wonderful life, don’t hang on to it but give of your life to others.  Sermon ends.

 

Carol Singing

Our Storyteller - Weaves His Magic

The Captivated Audience

Festive Feasting Together

All photos by LGS.  Please note that this is pre-new camera and were taken on handphone.  Hence the less than desirable quality of images.

 

Just Married …..At Last.


The Cute Cherub has Aged

I had a rather busy weekend.  One of the things I had going on was a friend’s wedding at which I took on the role of the master of ceremonies.  So that you do not misunderstand, let me clarify that there was a pastor to give a short sermon and to carry out the solemnisation of the marriage.  My role was merely to make the announcements, guide the congregation through the service programme and to help lead in the singing.  I think the wedding went well and I discharged my duties adequately apart from forgetting to ask the congregation to sit down at one point and on another occasion referring to  the flower girls as “page girls”.

I think there was a collective sigh of relief from all assembled when the bride and groom finally exchanged vows.  The reason is that the couple are both in their late 40’s after having an on again – off again relationship for over 15 years.  15 years!  Can you imagine?

The reason?  I suppose they would tell us that there were many reasons for the long journey but I think at the root of it was the fact that they were to some extent both  “commitment phobes”. Well, at least they finally took the plunge. Better late than never.  We are all happy for the couple.

The next day some of us were discussing “commitment phobia” over lunch and I learned that someone else I knew also has had an on again – off again relationship with this girl who has been his best friend since school, for also over 15 years.  In this case, though, there has been no happy conclusion yet.  In fact, during this time, the guy has gone out with at least three other girls.  Each time, the girl had graciously stepped aside and waited and then returned to his side when that episode was over.  It seems clear that he is happy with being best friends while she is hoping for more.

I remember a episode from the comic strip Bloom County or Outland (not sure which) where Opus the penguin is on a bridge all kitted out for bungee jumping by Ronald-Ann who runs the bungee jumping enterprise.  Opus keeps running up to the edge of the bridge but stops, peers over the edge and then backs off.  Each time he makes reference to how it is a metaphor for a guy excited at the thought of intimacy in marriage but getting cold feet as he peers into the chasm of commitment. After doing this a couple of times, Ronald-Ann finally takes matters into her own hands and shoves Opus off the bridge while giving the advice “You have to give them a push, girls”.

So what do you think? What can we do as friends to people like this?  Should we give them a push?

The Magdalene Laundries


Recorded live at Warner Bros. lot 1998

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 

Sometimes music artistes get the opportunity to go beyond just entertaining their audience and take on an exalted role of educator. They can be powerful spokespersons and can rally public opinion and action against injustice or for a cause. Joni Mitchell is one such artiste who never hesitated to bear open her soul and in the process treated her listeners to a glimpse of the human condition.

When I first heard the song “The Magdalene Laundries“, I knew nothing about the story behind it. The song inspired me to investigate further and to understand the tragedy of which it spoke.

The story begins with the establishment of asylums for “fallen women” in Victorian Britain. These asylums arose from the Protestant Rescue Movement which originally had the good intent of trying to rescue and rehabilitate prostitutes by providing them a shelter and alternative employment.

In Ireland, these were referred to as Magdalene Asylums, named after Mary Magdalene who was a prostitute but who became a friend and follower of Jesus Christ. The Magdalene movement in Ireland was quickly appropriated by the Catholic Church, and the homes, which were initially intended to be short-term refuges, increasingly turned into long-term institutions. As time went on, the focus also shifted from rehabilitation to the performance of penitence through hard labour.

These institutions were required to be financially self sufficient and so they evolved into profit making laundries run by “fallen women” carrying out their penitence under the supervision of nuns. They ceased being refuges and became more like prisons. The “fallen women” now included not just prostitutes but women who had become pregnant out of wedlock and as the song says became pregnant, “some by their own fathers or parish priests”. The men suffered no consequences but the women were sent to the Laundries.

Women who had become “embarrassments” were sent by their family, their church or even the State to the Magdalene Laundries where they were treated as lower beings and suffered physical, emotional and sexual abuses, forgotten by society.

Public awareness of the injustices and inhumanities of the Magdalene Laundries really began in 1993 when in Dublin, nuns of a particular order sold part of their convent grounds to a real estate developer who exhumed 155 bodies of women who had died in the Laundries and were buried in unmarked graves.
Allegations about the conditions of the convents and the treatment of the inmates of the Irish asylums were made in the film The Magdalene Sisters (2002), written and directed by Peter Mullan.

I was surprised to learn that the last Magdalene Laundry in Ireland closed as recently as the 25th of September 1996 or just 14 years ago this day. It is estimated that 30,000 women went through the Magdalene Laundries. May God grant them the peace and love that they never received from fellow humans.

Keeping Warm on Winter Nights


Life has been rather busy lately.  I have a surprising amount of work to do for a beach bum.  Also I seem to be having writer’s block.  Okay, actually I am just too lazy to post anything original as I have been busy typing papers these last few days.

So, allow me to share with you this video which I unearthed after detailed research as a service to romantics around the world and to increase global understanding of our friends from the land of perpetual ice.

Tea and Sympathy


Tea and Sympathy ( a movie based on a play which was based on a book and which caused quite a stir when it was released in 1956 because of its subject matter.  Deborah Kerr is superb in this movie.  Click here to find out more.)

My Wife: “So how was the dental appointment?”

Me (with tears of pain while cradling my jaw in my hand): “It was terrible!  I am in such pain.”

My Wife: ” C’mon, it can’t be that bad.  Surely the dentist gave you a local anesthetic so you shouldn’t have felt any pain.”

Me (slurring my words on account of pain); “That was then.  The effect of the anesthetic has now wore off.”

My Wife: “Why should there be any pain now?  It was a root canal procedure.  The nerve is supposed to have been removed.”

Me: “Are you kidding?  First he drills, then he probes, then he uses these medieval wire files and he scrubs the nerve our of the root canals, then he crams in some kind of filler and uses this sharp metal probe to hammer it in.  My whole jaw is sore.”

My Wife: “Ah, you just have a low pain threshold.”

Me:  “I have it on good authority from a fellow blogger (geewits) that it is more painful than childbirth.”

My Wife: “How does she know?”

Me: “Because she has gone through both and she says she’d rather go through childbirth!”

My Wife: “You know what I think?  I …..think…….that …….you ……are ……a……..DRAMA QUEEN!”

Epilogue:  I got no sympathy and I also got no tea.

Epi-epilogue:  I am however joining my wife for a week on the beaches of Bali.  Beaches at last.  I’ll try to post if I can.

Deborah Kerr and John Kerr: The Headmaster's wife and the student

Ham On Air


I was recently with a group of colleagues; all of them somewhat younger than myself.  I believe they are what are known as Gen Y.  Other alternate names include  Generation Next, Millennial Generation or even Generation Net.  These include babies born around the mid- 1970’s until the early 2000’s.  It was in relation to Generation Net’s growing up with the internet that I was talking to them about.

I was reminding them that the things that they take for granted today had not even been conceptualized in the not too distant days of my youth.  There was no laptops, facebook, twitter, blogs, handphones etc.  I really lost them when I told them that we used to encode computer data by punching holes in cards (for all you young ‘uns, google it as  “computer punched cards”).  Oh yes,  we did not even have google in those days!

It brought to my memory, that as a young boy in those pre-blogging days, I was already interested in reaching out to others in the world.  the answer at that time was ham radio.  Ham radio really refers to a network of amateur radio operators whose hobby was to talk to similar hams from all around the world riding on the magic of radiowaves.  Apart from chatting, they often provided important services to the community and many times provided support during emergency and disaster responses.  Even today, it is estimated that there are 2 million ham radio operators out there (as compared with 126 million blogs as tracked by BlogPulse).

Ham radio just requires three things;

The Latest, Coolest Radio Set

The Tallest Possible Antennae

And finally, the Ham!

I could never afford it but I was really attracted  to the whole idea of scanning the frequencies and meeting new people from around the world; not strangers but fellow members of the family of hams.  In my dreams, I often imagined reaching out and touching a lonely lighthouse keeper in the Outer Hebrides or a snow bound hunter in his isolated shack in the Canadian wilds.  Perhaps, they would share wisdom grown from hours of lonely solitude or we could play a game of chess.

So, I guess it isn’t all that surprising that I have taken to blogging because I still have a desire to meet new people from around the world.  In line with that sentiment, may I ask each of you, dear readers, to help me with this quest.

Your Mission, should you choose to accept it, is to introduce me to one or two bloggers that you think I might like to meet and to follow their blogs.

Many, many thanks.