Category Archives: squirrels

Unburied Nuts from 22nd May 2009:- Basic Squirrel 101


It is the habit of squirrels to bury nuts in the ground and when they think the nuts have sufficiently “aged”, to dig them up again. On this flimsy pretext, I occasionally “dig up” an old post that I feel deserves to see the light of day again.  This post happens to be all about squirrels or “Everything you wanted to know about squirrels but were afraid to ask!”

Today, a work colleague came up to ask me to identify a squirrel. He said that he heard that I was into squirrels. I was taken aback. Evidently my secret identity as the Lone Grey Squirrel was not so secret after all and someone has made the connection between my internet alter ego and my real identity. Hmmmm. In hindsight, I’m so glad I decided against posting up the photo of me dressed as a squirrel wearing only a red underwear and a cape. Those things have a way of coming back to haunt you.

The other reason I was taken aback was that I did not know the answer! Shock horror! Anyway, I did a little research but I think I now know the answer. Apparently, he took a photograph of a squirrel which he thought was a plantain squirrel (which is common in these parts) but whereas the plantain squirrel was marked, this was not marked. His question was what squirrel looks like an unmarked plantain squirrel.

THE ANSWER: PLANTAIN vs PLAIN
The Plantain Squirrel has a grey body and a light brown belly with a white and a black stripe between the two. The plain Slender Squirrel is slightly smaller has a grey body and a pale belly and no markings.


Anyway, since there has been a lot of interest on squirrels lately from readers and visitors to this blog, I have decided to provide a basic introduction to the world of squirrels or Squirrel 101.

SQUIRREL 101:
There are 365 species of squirrel (one for each day of the year!) which belong to seven families. They can be roughly divided into tree squirrels, ground squirrels and flying squirrels. Grey squirrels are tree squirrels and the only group worth discussing further. Ground squirrels may be cute clowns but basically they have become confused between burying nuts in the ground and burying themselves in the ground. On the other hand, flying squirrels are just a bunch of self-absorbed show-offs. So we will now just concentrate on Tree Squirrels.

Tree Squirrels can also be divided into several main groups.

Grey Squirrels
Originally from North America (ranging from the Deep South and all the way to Canada), the grey squirrel has made its way to U.K. and even Italy where they are out competing the local squirrels due to their strong work ethic and cuteness. Grey Squirrels are the liberals and moderates of the squirrel world. Grey squirrels mantra is that “There is no black or white. Instead much of life is grey”. Grey squirrels really range from pepper and salt color, all the way to melanistic black. The paler squirrels are in the Deep South while most of the black squirrels are in Canada. The reason for this is unclear but some say that this is due to the large number of black slave squirrels that were smuggled to freedom in Canada by the Underground Railway in the 19th century.

Red Squirrels
Red Squirrels are found in many parts of the world but the populations of major importance are found in Europe. The European Reds are basically protectionists, left wing, communist unionists who are always protesting about the more hard working Greys!

British Reds have similar political positions but they are better characterised by other major characteristics. Specifically, English Reds are basically soccer fans. Some support the “Reds” (i.e. Liverpool) while others support the “Red Devils” (i.e. Manchester United).

Scottish Reds instead are more concerned with Scottish independence being as they are the proud descendents of the original red-haired Pict squirrels, begorrah. These squirrels were never defeated by the Roman Legions!

Non-Aligned Squirrels
The remaining world squirrels can basically non-aligned, apolitical, third world, hard working squirrels with low carbon pawprints. They are just happy to be left alone and undisturbed.

Disclaimer: No squirrels were injured in this parody. The only thing hurt was the truth.

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Resistance is Futile


Okay….. things are a bit slow here and I am having writer’s block.  So I sat here thinking about what to post about.  Thinking…..thinking…..and thinking…….and then some more thinking……. and NOTHING!

So in times like this, I am thankful for posts that I read, which I can sample.  Here is something I came across on someone’s Facebook.  Clearly, the lady has attained wisdom; enlightenment even.  I can only hope that you, dear readers, will follow in her footsteps.

squirrel rockyYes…..stop resisting.  Resistance is futile.

Fun With Squirrels


This blog has lost its focus of late in that we haven’t had a post about squirrels for many moons.  And with the absence of squirrels, there hasn’t been much fun around here either; because Squirrels = FUN!

pick a nut

Here are three videos to remind us all that squirrels are fun.  In fact, the sooner all you humans surrender and submit to squirrel domination and rule of the world, the sooner we can put all the unpleasantness and get on with having fun.

Video 1 :- Squirrel horsing around

Video 2:- Squirrel -the life of the party and

Video 3:- Squirrel spectator sport

All 3 prove that you can have fun with squirrels…….. now don’t we all need some fun these days?

 

 

Aye or Naw


Well today is a truly historic day as Scotland goes to the polls to vote on the question; “Should Scotland be an independent country?”   Will it be a vote for independence – an “AYE” or “YES” vote?  Or will it be a vote to remain in the United Kingdom – a “NAW” or “NO” vote?

Recent opinion polls show this to be a very tight race and no one is willing to give a firm prediction on the outcome.

As I have some Scottish relatives so I have to tread a little carefully when posting on this issue.

My Red Squirrel cousins (distant cousins, I might add), consider Scotland to be part of their home domain and have been showing up in droves to support the vote for Scottish independence.

The Feorag as they are known in Scottish gaelic are all about their traditions and clans and claim to trace their ancestry back to the ancient warrior tribe of red-haired Picts that used to live in these parts.  Below is a picture of the Reds rallying for a “YES” vote.

sqwerl-invasion

Grey Squirrels on the other hand tend to have a different political view.    Truth be told, Greys don’t hold our cousins the Reds in very high esteem.  Their official scientific name is Sciurus vulgaris.  Doesn’t the name just say it all?

Gary-red-squirrel-sign

As you can see from the picture above, red squirrels drive slowly.  Actually, Greys think Reds are generally a bit slow.  Enough said.

While I can understand the aspirations of many Scottish folks and Red Squirrels for an independent Scotland, us Grey Squirrels are generally for keeping the union.

In an age of globalisation, the world is a smaller place and our fates seem to be completely intertwined.  We think that strength and prosperity comes from unity and population size.  Take China and India, for example, they are expected to become the largest global economies but that won’t happen if they fracture into smaller independent nations.

Scots are better educated than most in the UK.  They also have lots of oil and let’s not forget the whiskey.  They may fare well as an independent nation but the UK as a whole will definitely be poorer.

If everyone just looked at their own economic interests, then might California or Alaska seceded from the USA?  Hong Kong from China?  Alberta from Canada? Barcelona from Spain?  Disneyland from all the countries they are in?

No!  Grey Squirrels say “No”.  We are for union. Vote for union!

rexsquirrel

But anyway, it won’t make any difference as we Grey Squirrels intend to conquer the world and rule it as one.  So enjoy your freedoms and you referendums while you can.

MWahahahaha! (evil laugh)

The Coming of Man


I hope you will take time to look at this video. Notice the squirrels right at the beginning. Now don’t you agree that the world would be a better place if you humans would just return it to squirrel rule?

If you are ready to discuss the terms of your surrender to the Squirrel World Domination Army, please leave a note in the comment section of this post.

Church Squirrel


Still struggling to post regularly so I hope you guys don’t mind this filler.  It’s something that has been around the blogosphere for a few years but seems to be making the rounds again. So here’s me jumping on the bandwagon.  Anyway, you all know I am a church squirrel.

 

There were five houses of religion in a small town:

The Presbyterian Church,
The Baptist Church,
The Methodist Church,
The Catholic Church and
The Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what
to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they
determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they
shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in
the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery
and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there
were twice as many there the next week

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not
in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the
squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later,
the squirrels were back.

But, the Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective
solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of
the church.
Now they only see them on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday
and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, except that they
took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they
haven’t seen a squirrel on the property ever since.

 

(LGS says, “Ouch!”)