Carolina Squirrel & the Holy Grail


There is a small, quaint and ancient cathedral hidden in the twisting alleyways of the Spanish town of Valencia.  The building itself is a strange oddity reflecting a variety of architectural styles ranging from early Romanesque, subtle Renaissance, heavy Baroque and the more restrained Neoclassical.

The intrepid Carolina Squirrel (Squirreldom’s equivalent of Indiana Jones; a dashingly handsome and rugged archaeologist/adventurer squirrel) followed the clues laid out by an ancient manuscript that he had decoded which is known as  “Lonely Planet – Valencia” and found himself outside this unique cathedral.

Metropolitan Cathedral-Basilica of the Assumption of Our Lady of Valencia (Now that's a mouthful!)

Upon entering, Carolina Squirrel found a strange religious ceremony taking place in which two people carry out a public sacrifice of their freedom and swinging singlehood in a ritual known as a “marriage”.  While, Carolina Squirrel was mildly entertained by the local natives dressed up in their ceremonial robes, he was not deterred from his search.  With his squinty eyes, he scanned the dark recesses and elaborate carved decorations of the cathedral.  Then suddenly, he saw it!

Wedding Party

The Holy Grail!  The holy relic said to be a cup used by Christ at the last supper was here.  Dan Brown and his Da Vinci Code placed the grail as buried under the small pyramid at the Louvre in Paris.  Pffft!  He got it wrong!

The grail has been in Valencia since the 11th Century.  Tradition holds that Saint Peter brought it to Rome in the first century and then it was brought to Spain by Saint Lawrence in the third century.  Archaeologists have determined that the artifact is a Middle Eastern stone vessel which does in fact date back to the first century.  It now sits on top of an Medieval era ornate stem and base of  alabaster, gold and gemstones.   The cup was the official papal chalice of many popes and was most recently used by Pope Benedict XVI in 2006. 

The Quest Has Ended.......it's the Holy Grail

Having triumphantly solved this mystery, the intrepid Carolina Squirrel is off to find Aladdin’s magic lamp.

*(The grey squirrel is known scientifically as Sciurus carolinensis.  Hence the choice of Carolina Squirrel in place of Indiana Jones.  “Carolina Squirrel and Aladdin’s Lamp” coming soon to a cinema near you ….as soon as I can get some %@*# backers with vision to fund its filming!)

All pictures by LGS

18 thoughts on “Carolina Squirrel & the Holy Grail”

  1. Seems to me an intrepid Carolina Squirrel could have defeated the systems of security and scurried off with the cup which would make for a good movie. Especially because most Carolina squirrels wind up in Carolina stew pots. Which escaping said stew pot would make for a great opening sequence in said movie.

  2. shouldn’t beach bums be lazy? not exploring the world over? 😉 I jest of course. glad the Carolina Squirrel found the cup. I was really starting to worry. 😉

  3. ? You mean the thing is all the time in Spain? In the 30s here the idea was popular that the grail is a kind of cup that hold the blood of JC when he was poked in the side by the guard. For rasons unknow to me they seriously searched for the cup still in the 1940s in the Pyrenees.

  4. mmmm … now if the Carolina Squirrel can track down the pot of gold at the end of the Rainbow he’ll have financing for that movie …

    … love that tower in the first image – maybe I should …

  5. TWM,
    I think you should become a vegetarian. That would be a great service to squirrels and other edible mammals. But thanks anyway for the movie ideas.

    cabcree,
    Well, I can understand how this can be confusing but I am just an average beach bum grey squirrel. I am not to be confused with Carolina Squirrel who is a masked adventurer whose true identity is not known. It is mere coincidence that I was bumming on the Valencia beach when Carolina Squirrel raided the Valencia cathedral. Pure coincidence!

  6. Mago,
    well, I am doubtful that the Holy Grail (i.e. the cup of Christ) actually exists today. More likely it was lost to history ages ago. However, there are a few different theories and objects which have been claimed to be the grail and the Catholics generally believe the Valencia cup to be the real one.

  7. According to a documentary that I saw with Indiana Jones and Sean Connery, the actual grail is made from wood “such as a carpenter would use.”

  8. Janice,
    It is a quaint place and small as cathedrals go.

    OneStonedCrow,
    Carolina Squirrel knows better than to tangle with leprechauns. Them be nasty fellas. So the tower gives you ideas ………….?

  9. geewits,
    I remember that line from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade too. It
    is certainly a nice premise that Jesus cup would be that of a simple design as befits a humble carpenter. But there apparently are a few contenders for the holy grail. I think the real cup has long been lost and the others are mere pretenders but you never know……I could be wrong.

  10. This grail sounds as legit and any I’ve heard of and it couldn’t be in a more apropos place. Spain is a fascinating hodge-podge of architectural styles and influences. But I must say, the Metropolitan Cathedral-Basilica of the Assumption of Our Lady of Valencia (whew) doesn’t look like the same cathedral of the grail as interpreted by Monte Python, which we all know to be as highly researched as modern science allows.

  11. Mr. Charleston,
    True. The cathedral of the grail as described by Monty Python must be the correct historical one! I hear it is protected by killer rabbits. Why have killer rabbits unless its the real thing, right?

  12. So…I’m not to believe every single word Dan Brown wrote, eh? Hmmm. This changes my whole outlook on life. Good work Carolina Squirrel. 🙂

  13. The tower is fabulous – I want to see it myself!!!

    As for the Grail… well, truth is where you find it. Just click your Ruby Slippers together three times and repeat “There’s no place like home, There’s no place like home”…

    PS: FYI, squirrels are omnivorous like us crows. Takes one to know one LOL!

  14. “Carolina Squirrel and Aladdin’s Lamp” coming soon to a cinema near you ….as soon as I can get some %@*# backers with vision to fund its filming!)”

    Great. Just please don’t make another “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”-type movie. Blech!

  15. Laura,
    You’re welcome. I’m only doing my job. Carolina Squirrel – enemy of all self serving truths and defender of all squirrel serving truths.!

    Terry,
    Yes, squirrels do eat everything………are you saying I should go on diet?

    Pauline,
    Yeah, that last Indiana Jones movie aka the crystal skulls really sucked big time. Don’t worry, this Carolina Squirrel movie will be much better cause I’ll be in it!

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